aka, "Zoe opens a black market, Imogen can't be with a closeted teen, Frankie finds out her BF is cheating"
Episode 16, Season 14
Original Air Date: 7/22/2015
Main Storyline Character: Zoe Rivas, Frankie Hollingsworth, Imogen Moreno
Previously on Degrassi:
-Imogen found out that Jack isn't out to her parents, which makes for an angry Imogen.
-Zoe had a child porn ring (I KNOW! It gets me every time) and now needs to repent.
-Lola and Winston kissed behind Frankie's back, mostly at the fault of Winston.
Zoe, Zoe, Zoe. When will you ever learn? Your child pornography ring landed you a court date and you need to show some remorse, but instead you decide to do some stupid stuff. Zoe's parole officer or whatever tells her that she needs to do some community service. Not as punishment, mind you, but just to show the judge that she feels guilty about being a horrible person. She has to put on a hair net and work in the school cafeteria! Serving food to kids who hate her! This is like Spinner getting punished for (in a roundabout way) causing the school shooting way back when.
Miles is also on cafeteria duty for setting part of the school on fire at the end of last season. Sometimes it's hard to remember the relationships between these characters. Zoe and Miles seem so far from each other, but then I remember oh yeah, they kind of dated, or at least she crushed on him. And they share mutual friends. Mrs. Pill shows Zoe around the cafeteria, and Zoe tells Mrs. Pill that the kids hate her for the "Draconian measures" that Mrs. Pill has put into place post-Degrassi-Nudes. Well, seeing as that Draconian measures once included the death sentence for petty theft and were the first written laws for Athens, I'd say Degrassi is far from that. Well, except the written rules part. We are treated to some of the Degrassi "New rules" posters around the set in this episode, and these crazy rules aren't so crazy at all. "No Alcohol or Drugs," "No Public Displays of Affection," "No cell phones," "No fighting, shoving, or violence of any kind." Sounds like my high school. Were these not previously rules at Degrassi?
Zoe is put to work, and her first few customers are, as predicted, haters. Hunter Hollingsworth is pissed for getting cell phones banned. "You did flash your pom poms all over the internet." Really Hunter, we're gonna play that game? YOU WERE ONE OF THE APP BUYERS. Supply and demand! Don't hate on your fave app of 2015. Next are Zig and Maya, who tease her not very lovingly. I thought Maya said she was friends with Zoe? I guess their status is frienemy since they never are on good terms. Maya, if you want girl friends, you need to start making real female friendships and not frienemies. Zoe predictably ends the scene by splashing mystery mush onto her own face on accident.
Zoe thinks she needs to bribe people to like her, which is not news at all since she's pretty much been disliked since she started attending Degrassi. Zoe, why start caring now? Tristan suggests giving out free food. "The porkers in this school really love french fries." Tristan, you were once on the chubbier side, so please have some sympathy. Zoe and Tristan deserve each other.
A bulb lights up over Zoe's head and she buys a bunch of burner phones to give to kids. She smuggles them in the cafeteria by putting them in sandwich buns, and giving them to kids with the code word "Tuna sandwich." The plan is that the kids use them at lunch, then dispose of them in the recycling bin out in the hall. So let's recap, shall we? Zoe was busted for running a child porn ring. She has to repent. so she works in the cafeteria. That's not enough, so she decides to start a cell phone black market to give burners to kids. Yep, sounds like she's learning her lesson.
Mrs. Pill doesn't think so, since she catches Zoe trying to retrieve the phones from the recycling bin. Mrs. Pill has a handful in a ziploc bag, as if they're evidence that need to be dusted for fingerprints. She gives Zoe one more chance, and that is cleaning up the cafeteria, one gum wad at a time. It makes me sad for Zoe that all her storylines basically revolve around the fact that she wants to be liked/loved. It's depressing, really, since I feel that she has no redeeming qualities.
Miles and Zoe are in the cafeteria alone, cleaning, when Zoe asks Miles how he doesn't care about what people think of him. Miles doesn't care about anything, Zoe! He's just numb to the world, and that's how he lives his life. Miles suggests Zoe use nail polish remover to clear the gum from under the tables, too. Two bits of advice in one conversation? What a pal!
In the world of the coolest lesbian couple at Degrassi, Jack and Imogen are on shaky terms since Imogen found out that Jack hasn't told her parents that she's gay. I am not sure how Jack's parents don't know, because Jack doesn't seem the type to hide something like this. She's the cool girl! In a teen hatchet-throwing club! In a hippy-free-flow dance troupe that smokes pot! The story here is Jack has moved around a lot, and is very close with her family. She's worried of creating any rifts between them. Imogen reluctantly agrees to keep the relationship a secret.
Becky, of all people, realizes that Jack staying closeted will ruin Imogen and Jack's relationship. From experience! Becky reminds Imogen that she tried to keep Adam (who was trans) a secret from her parents and it tore Adam apart. Imogen insists nothing will change, except in front of Jack's parents. I mean, they got this far, right? Drew announces that Jack and Imogen are nominees for cutest couple, and I wholeheartedly agree with this nomination. Drew also sourly points out that Becky and "guyliner" (Jonah) weren't nominated, so THERE.
The next day, Imogen does her hair in the typical Jack braids for a couple photo, and tells Jack about pictures for the yearbook. Jack is putting the pieces together. Yearbook? Like the book I bring home to my parents? With pics of my gay relationship!? NO WAY. Imogen is hurt because she didn't even THINK about that connection, and she was so excited about doing fun high school things that she totally forgot. Jack also points out that prom photos are a no-go, and if they go to prom, they have to go as friends. Imogen realizes that senior year is NOT gonna be the best year ever.
Imogen goes to tell Clare that she and Jack can't take pics for the yearbook, when she witnesses the Dallas and Alli photo shoot happening. Dallas and Alli are all lovey dovey and talking about couple-y things, like Alli is taking Dallas's mom to the spa, and Dallas loves talking to Mr. Bhandari about cricket. Are they 18 or are they a middle-aged married couple? Imogen longingly looks at them and sees what she may never have.
With good intentions, Imogen brings a few books to Jack at the Dot, including "Outside the closet" and "Coming out: a guide for gay teens." Jack reminds Imogen that this has already been discussed, and Imogen pushes, saying that she once came out to her parents, and she could help Jack along. Imogen looks at it from her own perspective, saying that it appears as though Jack doesn't care about their relationship. "Are we gonna be 'best friends' forever?!" Imogen made so many compromises! "I was willing to be polyamorous, for Pete's sake!" Imogen has you there, Jack. Jack really doesn't want to come out, and if Imogen doesn't accept that, it is over. Jack angrily grabs her things and leaves.
Okay, so Winston is growing on me a bit in this episode since he got a couple good moments of physical comedy. I'll get to that in a second. Frankie's storyline in this episode is mostly trying to figure out balancing grades and the school play. The school play is written by and stars her boyfriend, so guess which of those things she prioritizes?
Lola is getting better grades than Frankie in math, which is definitely a red flag since that hair dye has to seep deep into her skull making her dippy all the time, and Frankie is concerned. "You don't know my parents. If I don't ace this, my mom will make me quit the musical and then you'll have to take my part, and then I'll have to watch you kiss my boyfriend on stage and then you two will fall in love and I will end up SO ALONE!" A couple episodes ago, Frankie was so chill with the possibility of Lola taking the lead in the play, since the probability of a Winston-Lola stage kiss would be just acting and no big deal. But I get that Frankie is under a lot of pressure and would be more concerned than usual. Lola panics and reassures Frankie that Winston and she would never kiss. Ever. Not even in the locker hallway. Not even after touching Winston's shoulder. Not even after he leans in. EVER!
Frankie decides it's time to study up, but upon seeing Winston, she is guilted into studying between scenes during play rehearsal. Ugh, that Winston is such a charmer! But not really.
Test time comes, and Lola quizzes Frankie before the tests are passed out. "What's the quadratic formula?" Frankie's blank stare says she didn't study. The actress playing Lola clearly doesn't know the quadratic formula or how it's written, as she pauses in weird spots. "X equals minus B plus or minus the square root of B. Squared minus four AC. Over 2A." Frankie thinks crying might get her out of the test, so she begs Lola to say something really sad. "Every day, thousands of bees are dying and no one knows why!" Lola's gasp of air after this sentence makes me think that this could be keeping her up at night. Poor Lola. Poor bees.
No fake cry and the tests are passed out, so Frankie silently decides to cheat by copying off of Lola, unbeknownst to her. Later, as Winston is walking with Frankie, Coach Armstrong asks to talk to Lola and Frankie privately. Winston does this hilarious dip out of the conversation, accompanied by an audible grunt, which won me over. Winston isn't a key player in this episode, and if he were, I am sure it'd be a pain. However, that little "ergh" made me laugh really hard, and it was intentional! Good job Winston.
Coach Armstrong points out Lola and Frankie have identical answers, even the wrong ones. Lola's hair dye is seeping in her brain again and she doesn't get it. Armstrong clarifies that it means someone copied. "I didn't!" Lola screams. Frankie shakes her head, too. Armstrong threatens them: if no one confesses, they both get zeros. Armstrong leaves and Lola's hair dye is seriously causing problems because she thinks that Frankie and she are so close that maybe they're psychic! Poor Lola, she should probably get that checked out or something. Lola leaves and Frankie tells Winston that she cheated. Winston clearly wants to comfort her, but after looking around at all the security cams, all he can do is awkwardly pat her on the head and say it'll all be alright.
Frankie tells Armstrong that she cheated. Luckily she can make up for her class grade on the final, and he won't call her parents. Score! She tells Lola the truth, and Lola blurts out that her and Winston kissed. Winston conveniently enters the conversation and Frankie is PISSED. "From now on, you will only speak to me at rehearsals...and even then, only what's in the script." I think she forgets that it's a love story. She walks away in tears.
Favorite quotes:
"I just didn't want to ruin your image of me as this cool, confident, kick-ass lesbian." --Jack, you will always be those things. ALWAYS!
Lesson Learned: Bribery doesn't work if people never had a reason to like you; always love those who will love you back unconditionally; the truth will set you free.
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