"Finally, Part 1"

"Finally, Part 1"
aka, "The prom boat episode"
Episode 23, Season 14
Original Air Date: 7/31/2015
Main Storyline Character: Drew Torres, Clare Edwards, Miles Hollingsworth

Normally I cluster the storylines together by character, but this episode has the storylines weaving together a bit, so I went in the order that it was presented on screen.

Previously on Degrassi:
-Drew is single for the first time in his life.
-Imogen broke up with Jack because Jack was too afraid to come out to her parents.
-Drew and Clare hooked up a while back and when she got pregnant she thought it was his, but then she later found out it was Eli's.


Prom has finally arrived, and it's finally the last episode (or part one of the last episode) of Degrassi to air on tv. They should call this episode "Finally!" Oh, looks like they did.

Prom is in the air, and Connor asks Jenna to prom by dressing like an astronaut and saying some dorky pun-filled poem about outer space. They're one of my favorite couples at Degrassi and it's a shame they're graduating and we won't see more of them! Jenna is so nice and friendly and she used to care about her appearance but when she met dorky Connor, who is so blunt (due to his Asperger's), she fell head over heels. We haven't seen anything about this couple in I don't know how many episodes...and now, maybe never again? Sad days.

Sad days for Drew, too, who is single! For once! He planned on going stag with Dallas, which is odd since Dallas clearly is dating Alli, which Dallas brings up. Drew will just tag along then! Alli doesn't want him to, though, since Clare will be in their prom group, and they have a whole sex-then-baby-then-not-really-his-baby situation. It's complicated. Dallas promised Alli a perfect prom night, so Drew has to be out of the picture, to clear it from drama. Seriously, bro? This is prom! One chance in a lifetime! Drew persuades Dallas to try to make things work.

Zoe and Miles are flirty-flirty in the hallway when Miles overhears his little brother Hunter's voice in a classroom. Apparently Hunter's not finished with his test and he's flipping out at the teacher for clearing them now that time's up. Miles intervenes to calm Hunter down, but Hunter isn't having it. Miles just ruins everything, according to Hunter. I suspect a behavior disorder storyline.

Alli is freaking out about prom planning. Dallas chats with her, but the only way she'll allow Drew to come is if he has a date. Why not ask Becky? She's newly single, and Drew likes her, right?

Clare is studying her history flashcards and asks Winston and Frankie to help her. When Clare gets stuck on one, Frankie rattles off a 20-second history lesson with the answer, to which Winston says "I've never been more attracted to you." Of course. Anywho, Clare is back from suspension and Winston is apparently in charge of random school things like selling yearbooks a few episodes ago and now coordinating graduation. He hands a card to Clare, on which he instructs her to write her plans for next year, and they will read it aloud when she walks the stage for graduation. Clare doesn't have plans for next year, but she's keeping that hush hush, so she'll hold onto this card for now. Possibly eternity. Winston and Frankie pile on the stress by assuming she's swimming in options of ivy league schools and studying abroad, etc.

Miles and Zoe are trying to figure out why Hunter hates Miles. Miles uses the words "weirdo" and "dumb" when talking about his brother and his hobbies, then asks himself "What could be his problem?" Well, you, for starters, since you're clearly an asshole. Miles and Zoe see him smile at Arlene and then realize he has a "nerd crush" (guess whose words) and think about a secret plan.

Clare is whining to Eli about how everyone has plans and she doesn't. He tells her he assumed she'd come back to NYC with him. She could write in coffee shops, apply to schools, that is, if she hasn't already written her first novel! HAR HAR! Clearly she's not realizing how expensive it is to live in New York, and assumes this boho lifestyle will work. But they'll be together, and it's all that matters!

Mr. Armstrong is administering the final exam to seniors, but before they start, Drew just has to ask a question of Becky Baker. He stands up in front, cheesy music starts to play, and he uses an iPad to start a horrid animated slideshow with "PROM?" on the screen behind him, complete with a spiraling question mark. Becky looks horrified and denies him. I don't know why he couldn't ask her modestly...they haven't been on the best terms lately, and they are exes. Mr. Armstrong tells Drew to end it, so Drew starts pressing buttons on the iPad. It doesn't work that easily, apparently, and he starts playing Captain Who music from the musical, then starts the fog machine on accident. Drew must be a Windows guy. Mr. Armstrong tells all students to leave, and they're to continue the exam once all this smoke and music gets fixed.

At the Hollingsworth mansion, Miles, Zoe, Frankie and Winston are playing around in the pool, with Arlene hanging out on the edge. Of course, Hunter is off to the side with headphones on playing video games or making comic books or whatever. I guess if I were Miles, I'd be saying the same sorts of things that he's been saying. Maybe if I had a brother like Hunter, I'd be just like Miles. I don't even want to think about it. The kids want to play chicken in the pool, but Arlene doesn't have a partner. Miles walks over to Hunter to get him to participate, but as usual, Hunter is in a terrible mood and Miles feeds off of it by teasing him with his own laptop. Miles holds the computer over the pool until Hunter accidentally falls in. Miles and the others laugh, and Hunter storms out of the pool, pissed off.

Back in the gym, the seniors complete their final exam, 3 hours later than scheduled due to Drew's technology mishap. As he and Dallas are walking out, Drew declares that he'll ditch prom altogether. Drew's reasoning is that if he can't be at the same table as Dallas (and therefore be alone), then he'll be left to think about how sucky his year was, and he might as well do it at home where he won't bum anyone out.

I honestly forgot what was so bad about this year for Drew, so let me go to Degrassi Wikia and recap for all of us:
-He is a 2nd year senior.
-Drew took sleeping pills and realized they made him have crazy blackouts where he'd do things he couldn't later recall.
-His engagement (yes, of the wedding variety) is broken off by Bianca.
-He dated Zoe, took her virginity (not knowing she was a virgin), then dumped her for being too clingy (which she was).
-He hooks up with Clare, then she dumps him because she really likes Eli.
-Drew and Becky date, until Becky finds out he is Clare's baby daddy (which later is found to be untrue). 

So not really that horrible of a year, Drew! Get over yourself. Dallas is bro-ing out and decides that he'll side with Drew and help him get to prom, with or without the girls' permission. Mrs. Pill walks in the room, reprimanding Drew for his prom-posal stunt, and he's all whatever, I'm done with school! And she's all, no prom for you! Oooh, the timing with that was impeccable. She was probably listening to their conversations in the security cameras!

Back at student council, Alli is running through her prom-planning checklist. Also, she talked to Mrs. Pill, and no, Alli wasn't able to get her to change her mind about Drew coming to prom. Drew begs Alli to figure out a way. Clare wonders aloud if he's asking them to boycott prom. "You would do that for me?" Drew says, not realizing it wasn't an actual suggestion. Plus, everyone already bought dresses or rented tuxes and goddammit Alli spent all year planning this!!! The ladies all leave for their hair appointments, and Dallas and Drew have a moment to talk. Drew is still pissed at Dallas because apparently it's Dallas' fault for suggesting that Drew ask Becky to prom. Also, Dallas is siding with Alli, who is probably gonna dump him after graduation anyway! Ooh, Drew, that was harsh, and Dallas even says so. "Who's gonna be at your wedding!? Not her! Me! (Best man)" I love that Drew had to clarify that it would not be a gay wedding between the two of them.

At the Hollingsworth home, Miles asks Frankie if she's seen Hunter, since he wants to take him paintballing. Frankie scoffs that he's pulling a total dad move, "freaking out, then trying to make up with gifts." Miles is worried Hunter might've run away, but Frankie thinks he'd only run to somewhere that has wifi. Ha.

At Clare's house, Jenna, Alli and Clare are getting ready for prom. When Alli goes into the closet to get a clutch, she knocks over a box of diaries, which Alli and Jenna believe are cool for them to read aloud. It's a little forced moment to allow for some reminiscing of these characters' previous storylines. In the diaries, season-nine-era Clare talks about Alli being boy-crazy and dating that godawful dude Johnny, as well as Jenna stealing KC (Clare's ex) and getting knocked up with his baby. Thankfully, Alli and Jenna are being very lighthearted about all of this diary-reading, not getting offended by any of her words. Alli reads an entry aloud, written about her, that says "How are you supposed to get in all of the Ivys and get to be valedictorian if you spend all of your time being a boy-crazy idiot? I'll never let a guy get in the way of my dreams!" The camera focuses on Clare during this part, as she's realizing that she's becoming like old season-ten-era Alli. THE HORROR!

The girls go outside to meet their dates, and Eli does a big proposal speech, gets down on one knee and...gives her a key to his apartment. Alli and Jenna are all "thank god" that he didn't propose marriage. Eli's just being goofy, but he does really want her to move in. Clare, however, doesn't want to. She can't have "moving in with Eli" as her plan for next year, even if she doesn't have an alternative. Yeesh, this pre-prom heavy conversation sure is gonna make the boat trip pretty awkward. You know there's no escape from a boat, right?

Miles finds Hunter at Mr. Hollingsworth's bachelor pad, sitting by the pool wearing a black karate suit. He tells Miles he's here because asshole dad is better than asshole Miles. I personally am not sure how to rank them, when they're side-by-side. Frankie's right...Miles is like a Mr. Hollingsworth-to-be. Hunter challenges Miles to a kendo stick duel (martial arts). I swear I cannot make this stuff up. If Miles wins, Hunter has to smile, once a day, for a month. If Hunter wins, Miles will never talk to him again. They fight, and of course Hunter wins. But Hunter won't hit him into the pool because he's not a bully, like Miles is. Miles claims he isn't a bully, but Hunter insists. "You make fun of everything I do; you push me to do things I don't want to do. Plus you walk around with a big stupid grin on your face when you make me miserable. I hate you." Rough! But he's right. Miles is an asshole. Hunter really wants to live with their dad. Miles says he'll change. "I know I can't take dad's place, but I can try." He meant that in a caring way, but I can't help but think that he meant "level of sucky personality." Hunter softens, and they both hug.

The Degrassi seniors are "on a dock" waiting for their "prom boat." I say this in quotation marks because they're standing in front of the most obvious green screen ever. Alli's making phone calls to the reservations agency complaining about the boat's tardiness. She's put on hold, and Dallas pulls up the reservation email on his phone for reference. He says "I know how important this is for you, for us." Alli looks at his phone and starts talking to the reservations specialist when she realizes that ohmygod, DALLAS PICKED THE WRONG YEAR ON THE RESERVATION. Typical jock. That's the end of that, since Alli has no more leeway on the phone. She hangs up and starts reaming Dallas. The promgoers are behind them, getting antsy to board the boat. Dallas feels soooo bad, and he wants to know what he can do. "You can tell everyone that YOU ruined prom," snaps Alli.

We randomly check in with Imogen and Becky (maybe we'll see more of them in part two?) to hear Imogen complaining that there's no boat. "Where are you going!?" asks Becky to a speed-walking Imogen. "Home, to eat a few PIZZAS." Imogen says the word "Pizzas" with an old-timey voice reminiscent of Judy Garland. It's fantastic. And did I mention that Imogen has a sailor-themed prom dress? Because Imogen is cool like that. Becky still wants a memorable prom, so why don't they go streaking or skinny-dipping, or other naked activities that teen movies promote? Imogen doesn't want to do anything but eat those PIZZAS. Prom just reminds her of how she broke up with Jack. "What if we were meant to be and I messed it all up for this?!" Imogen wonders aloud. Imogen was the one to break up with Jack, because Imogen is open with her sexuality and Jack isn't, at least, to her parents. Everyone at Degrassi knows that Jack's in the axe-throwing club (both a metaphor for her lesbianism and a literal club in which she's a participant). Becky has an idea because she wants to reenact teen movies: they'll go to Jack's house and Imogen will declare her true love! What these girls fail to realize, though, is that this will not solve their issues. I'm pretty sure Jack knows that Imogen loves her...it's Jack's closeted sexuality that's an issue. They both forget this, though, and think this is a great idea!

Dallas makes a call to Drew about the boat. Drew is laughing hysterically, since Drew's just reading all the updates on FaceRange (the Degrassi version of Facebook). It's like a live-tweet of a prom disaster. Drew's at home, of course, sitting in his backyard while his mom grills some burgers behind him. Dallas begs for Drew's help with the boat situation, but Drew isn't so keen on helping. "You're gonna let everyone down just because you're mad at me?" Drew and Dallas really don't know how to take responsibility for their mistakes...they just love pegging blame on others. Dallas points out that Drew is the class president, so he does have a point there. Drew stops laughing to say "Not so fun when your bro won't help?" and hangs up the phone. Mrs. Torres slaps Drew on the head and tells him to help Dallas. "Do you really want your memory of prom night to be barbecue with your mom?" Oooh, Drew, she has a point. Drew calls up presumably Dallas and says "I may have a plan!"

Prediction for Part 2:
Earlier in the episode, Alli left behind the twinkly lights at the school. I'm going to assume that Drew conjures up her original "Prom in Paris" theme with those twinkly lights. Did I just possibly ruin the plot to the next episode that I haven't even seen yet? If so, it's not my fault the Degrassi writers are so predictable. I'm taking the Drew/Dallas stance on this and deflecting all blame.



Favorite Quotes:
"Mrs. Pill's first name isn't Chill." --Dallas to Drew
"Wow, Hunter, this is weird, even for you." "Take the Kendo stick!"--Miles and Hunter's normal conversation

Lesson Learned: none...yet?