aka, "Emma meets a guy in a chatroom"
Episode 1, Season 1
Original Air Date: 10/14/2001
Main Storyline Character: Emma Nelson
A bit of background...
As the original series took place in the eighties, I assume the new series' writers were like "Hey, what can we have the first episode center around that is new and fresh and hip?" That was "computers." Yes, computers. When I was in middle school, there were static websites and not much interaction online. No Youtube, no Facebook, no MySpace even. Just lists of websites like Virtual Bubblewrap that made your dreams of popping virtual plastic bubbles come true. There were chat rooms and comment sections on sites and blogs, but the internet was nowhere near where it is now, a mere 12 years later.
So yes, the writers decided "lets do an episode about evil chatrooms" because that was a big danger (read: Degrassi Big Dangers are not the same as Big Dangers For Real People) at the time. Imagine chatting with someone you don't even KNOW! No, you can't Google (try Altavista) their profile because all that information wasn't out there in the cyberwebz yet. You just had a name and you type-chatted away with them, no Skype (didn't exist) so you couldn't see their face. Think of all the 90s shows that had episodes of kids getting sucked into video games! This was the real-life version of that ridiculous notion. This was the state of TV in the early 2000s.
Enough background....let's get on with it!
We open on Manny and Emma in the latter's bedroom, gushing over some email that a boy named Jordan wrote for Emma. Manny reads: "Emma, you saved my heart AND my pro-ject (Manny has a super Canadian accent on this). We protected the wildlife refuge and I owe it all to you. LOOOOVE, Jordan." Emma visibly swoons at the "love" part. They both squeal. Emma asks to see his picture again and scrolls down the email to a young teenage brunette boy, who is understandably cute to a tween girl. "He gets cuter every time I see his face!" Emma gushes. She then snaps out of lovey dovey mode to snap at Manny for doodling on a magazine with Caitlin Ryan on the cover (a character from the original Degrassi who is a reporter now).
Spike, Emma's mom, calls to her from downstairs to get ready and runs up to her room to find Emma closing all the windows on the computer screen that may have "Jordan" or "xoxo" or "Emma + Jordan 4eva" written in them. She claims that she was merely showing Manny Spike's reunion website. Spike smiles and clicks through pictures, of some people I might know/care about if I watched the original Degrassi. Spike says it's time to go, and Manny obliges, leaving Emma to open up a window of a website called "Treemail" (wtf) and message Jordan about treehouses/endangered animals/teen love. As she leaves the room, an obnoxiously green envelope with "NEW MESSAGE" pops up on the screen and she somehow tears herself away to not view it.
At Degrassi: Spike has Manny and Emma and another friend of theirs, JT, unloading boxes from the car, presumably for the reunion. As JT gets left behind, Manny says how it sucks that Emma didn't get to read her most recent email, possibly from Jordan. Emma isn't too concerned because she seemingly has memorized (word-for-word) the email that Jordan sent last night, closing her eyes to perfect the photographic image she has burned into her brain. After Emma recites it, Manny responds with a simple "Wow." Whether it's a comment on how romantic the email was or on how odd Emma is for using her photographic memory on emails about tree frogs, we will never know. JT follows behind, crashing in with a box of photos, which prompts Emma to say "Wow, people in the 80s were weird!" Oh Emma, this episode is only 13 years ago and your hair prompts me to say the same about the 2000s.
We cut to Joey Jeremiah, yet another adult from the 80s Degrassi show, trying to make a hard sell on a car. Hey, not everyone can be a famous reporter. The female customer (Lucy) is laughing and seems to be a friend of his. Joey pulls out his daughter, Angie, who is just about to start kindergarten. She is played by Alex Steele, Cassie Steele (Manny)'s real-life sister. And she goes on to later play Alex in the most recent seasons of Degrassi. Recycle! It's revealed that Joey's wife passed away a year ago, and hasn't RSVP'd to the reunion. Joey changes the subject by scooping up Angie and scurrying off.
At Degrassi: Emma sees an adult in the hallway who we find out is Mr. Simpson, the person who is to receive all these boxes with reunion stuff. He refers to Emma's mom as Spike, which then causes JT to scoff and Emma to respond by punching him in the arm. Girl power!
Emma, JT and Manny run off through the school on their own, coming upon a room of computers that seems to be super cool, based on their reactions. I just see grey box computers that take up too much space, sorry. JT teases that Emma could email Jordan here, and Emma just punches him in the arm again.
The principal rounds the corner with Toby and his dad, and the principal chats up the computer room like it's so high tech (well, it probably was for the time). "every computer here is connected to the internet via high-speed telephone wire!" Let me tell you young'ns how fast that is interpreted to: I used to bring a book to my home computer to read while pages loaded.
JT seems to recognize Toby, and Toby JT, and they do some weird camp handshake that signifies some long-lost friendship they've had. The principal and Toby's dad walk off to fill out some forms, leaving Toby with JT and the girls. There's a moment where Toby introduces himself and has this dopey first-love look at Emma and she's all "Whatever, I came here to email Jordan" and sneaks off into the computer lab while Toby and JT stand guard.
Cut to Mr. Simpson, looking at some old high school pictures of buddies and laughing.
Cut to Caitlin Ryan, in a limo and talking on a cell phone to her lover, supposedly her fiance, as there is a giant close-up of her ring. She tells him she wants to "show him off" and seemingly gets a positive answer since she smiles as she hangs up. The limo arrives at Degrassi and she greets Snake (aka Mr. Simpson) with some more random memories that I again don't care about. Lucy and Joey show up to Degrassi, and Joey has a long romantic stare with Caitlin. They must have Romantic History.
We're back in the computer lab as Emma takes her sweet time writing that Jordan email. Maybe she's just waiting for it to load and had to read a few Sweet Valley High books until it was done. Emma reads that Jordan is coming to town and wants to meet Emma. Emma doesn't squeal, but you can hear her heart fluttering.
Cut back to the Degrassi foyer, where Joey is introducing little Angie to Caitlin and trying hard not to show his distaste for Caitlin's marriage. "Congratulations" he says, with little to no enthusiasm. They all ask about Caitlin's wedding date, which she says isn't nailed down, but will be some time in the next year. His name is Keith, and he's coming to the reunion and she's "so excited for him to meet you all!" He's coming from LA, and Joey asks if he's in show business. Of course he is, he's a director. Joey says "I always knew you'd meet the guy." Long awkward pause. Caitlin says she has to check into her hotel, and asks Joey if he's going to the reunion. He's all "nah" and she's all "then let's get drinks" and he's all "nah" and Lucy's all "He'll be there, and I'll come, too!" Caitlin says her adieus and leaves.
Cut to playground: Emma and Manny are playing on a swing, symbolizing their childhood that is about to be ripped from them in the next few years (just kidding, Degrassi isn't that deep). Emma wants to meet Jordan, but she lied to him and said she was in high school. Manny's all "who cares; it's fate!" And Toby's like "who is this Jordan person that I may have to fight for your attention?" JT says Jordan is a "creep Emma met online" and then suggest he's probably a pervy older dude who "works at a video store" is 40 years old "and drools." So he's a dopey man who holds onto his childhood and works at a job that a person with little educational background could do? Maybe "Jordan" is Joey Jeremiah! Ba-zing! Oh man, wouldn't that be hilarious, though? It would add a whole new depth to this show.
Toby correctly declares that meeting a stranger you know from "the 'net" (so hip are these Degrassi writers!) could be dangerous. Emma's says she has known Jordan a lot longer than she's known Toby, and that Jordan isn't a stranger. Touche! Maybe "Jordan" is Toby! Again, this could be a very Clue-like episode if we wanted it to be.
Anyway, Manny's like "it's cool, though, Jordan's coming on a school trip" and JT practically chokes on his ice-pop as he says "Um, it's summer." Emma's like "but he came up with a perfectly safe and sane and viable excuse that his school organized the trip back in the spring!" Then they all have a water gun fight.
Back to the boring adults! Spike and Caitlin are looking at pictures (God this is getting old) and laughing at all the wacky haircuts. Spike likes Caitlin's ring, and Caitlin reveals that she bought it herself since Keith is
Emma walks in and snottily comments that the grown ups are using HER computer and need to ask HER permission before using it. Spike tells her to be nicer to their guest. When Emma sees it's the one and only Caitlin Ryan stealing her computer, she spurts out "CAITLIN RYAN!" and a bunch of random facts about Caitlin that cause Spike to call Emma a stalker.
Spike jokes that Emma rushed in to check her emails from her boyfriend and Emma accuses her of "hacking" into her email. Spikes like "I can't hack my way out of a paper bag, but I can tell when my daughter's getting interested in boys." Emma blurts out "MOM, I'M NOT HAVING SEX" which I feel would spark more suspicion than quelch it. Spike and Caitlin leave the room to presumably laugh at 80s haircuts some more while Emma progresses the plot.
Cut to Emma and Manny scouring through Jordan's emails to look for any mention of video stores or missing teeth or pedophilia. Nope! All good! Since he doesn't mention being a molester, he must not be one, right? Because all molesters talk about is molesting!
Emma says JT is immature, and Manny says Toby was fun to hang out with. Emma says he's "okay." Emma doesn't care about talking about anything but Jordan at this point. She mentions that she's never had a boyfriend as smart as Jordan. Manny corrects her: "You've never had a boyfriend." Manny reiterates what Toby said about meeting creeps on the internet, and Emma, stuffed animal literally in hand, says she can "take care of herself." Manny suggests that Emma talks to her mom about it first, at the very least. Emma is confused why her best friend, who, only a few hours ago on the swing set was so pro meeting Jordan, could possibly have second thoughts.
Cut to the boring adults at some bar with Caitlin's fiancee Keith. Keith patronizingly tells Mr. Simpson that being a teacher is "so noble" and that he is working on a movie about teachers. Cue eyes glazing over as the pretentious man talks about his job. Keith is interrupted by his own cell phone and walks off to take the call. Lucy gushes to Caitlin that she's so good on her hard-hitting news program. Then we get the obligatory fill-in of the characters' pasts since high school. Lucy has some physical therapy background and is working on her Masters. They refer to some accident that happened in high school that caused some kid named "Wheels" to die.
The silence is broken by Joey Jeremiah, or his advertisement, rather, on the TV. It's one of those cheesy "buy buy buy, now now now!" car ads which ends in him ripping his shirt off. Lucy, Mr. Simpson, Spike and Caitlin all laugh (with him, not at him) and say how great the commercial is. Keith comes back to the conversation in time to impart the snobby wisdom of hiring a real actor for his next commercial to avoid the "shifty car salesman vibe". Joey takes it in stride, but everyone else is like "wow, Keith is a jackass" and say how his commercial shows his personality. Caitlin says he's the same old Joey, which he doesn't laugh at and actually gets quite offended by and causes him to leave the table.
Mr. Simpson and Joey have a sidebar and Joey admits that he dislikes when people feel sorry for him, and how he also just hates Keith. We all do, and I have seen him for all of 2 minutes, dude.
Emma is in her bedroom, trying to fall asleep as her mom and Lucy and Caitlin drunkenly stumble into the house with requests for some white wine. Emma creeps around the stairwell until her mom notices her. Spike and Lucy apologize for waking her and rush off to the kitchen to get more drunk, since that is the logical next step after WAKING HER UP FOR BEING DRUNK. Caitlin walks up the stairs and plops beside Emma. Emma has a question for Caitlin, who correctly assumes it's boy troubles. Ding ding ding! If you get the next question right, you get TWO glasses of white wine as a prize!
Emma crucially leaves out info when talking to Caitlin about Jordan, just saying that she likes some guy and her friends don't want her to be with him. Caitlin's like "Well what do YOU think?" And she talks about how she gets along great with him and how he can read into her soul. And Caitlin, in the worst adult ever role, says "Then take a chance and go for it!" Yes, thanks for encouraging Emma to meet her creeper internet boyfriend, Caitlin. Good for nothing, you are. Emma says that going against the popular vote is like what Caitlin does for the environment. Caitlin, not one to shoot down a talking point about her wonderful life, says if her parents had their way, she'd be on some office on Bay Street, the Toronto version of Wall Street. Caitlin then asks if he's cute and she wants detaillllsssss!
Cut to Lucy and Spike in the kitchen, looking for that wine, and they both agree that Keith is a d-bag and that Caitlin could do better when it comes to her romantic pursuits. So, basically, they are negating any and all authority that Caitlin could possibly have in a romantic advice sort of conversation (like the one she is having with Emma).
Spike wanders over to the stairs and overhears the tail end of Caitlin and Emma's conversations about boys. Emma is like "how do you know when someone is THE ONE?" and Caitlin's like "you just know, in here" and points to her heart. Because if she pointed to her head, it might indicate she thought about Keith's douchebagginess (I am making that a word) before committing. Too late, though!
Emma and Caitlin see Spike and quickly change the conversation to environmental crusades and such. Spikes like "come join us while we drink wine!" and Emma's like "no thanks, I just want to
Caitlin, Spike and Lucy gather in the living room to drink wine and Spike pines for a romantic interest. Caitlin's like "That's why Keith is so great; I don't have to go on awful dates anymore!" Yes, when your soon-to-be-husband is merely convenient, that's when you know it's true love.
We cut to Emma, who emails Jordan that she totally wants to meet up with Jordan tomorrow.
TO BE CONTINUED!!!
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